I itch all over today and I'm not happy about it either. Every night, I generally go into a comatose state around 10pm...and I fall into this dark place just about wherever I am comfortable at the time. Sometimes in my bed and sometimes in my dark brown leather chair w/ottoman. Indeed the chair is comfortable and I keep a throw nearby so that I can wrap myself up in it and fall asleep to whatever boring program was on the television. Last night I was in my chair and the politicians were yammering--certainly a no-fail recipe to put me to sleep.

I woke up with a start as I felt the spider scurry across my cheek and over my nose and to my horror, into my hair. I made lots of girly noises and cursed like a sailor as I violently shook my head. I was upright and saw the evil spider fall out of my hair and onto my beloved brown leather chair. It made a thud...not a great big thud, but it was big enough to make a pop when it landed. I reached down beside the ottoman and found one of my Berks and in a fit of rage killed the sucker. As I cleaned its guts from the chair, the itching started. I now have 9 spider bites on me-from my calf to my belly and back all the way to my neck. Good lord, I've been violated by a spider.